i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
my poor anus
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
