Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
