Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
