The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
