Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
