Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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