sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
