marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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