is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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