i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
is wine microwaveable?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
