1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
