Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
