So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
