I just made out with a guy for $7.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
