The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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