Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
