Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
