Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
