Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
