Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
