I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
