My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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