yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
porn star boner night. come get it.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
