I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
