Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
