Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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