is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You smell like stripper and shame
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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