we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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