My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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