Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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