Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
