She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
