Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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