he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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