Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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