i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
