Just cropdusted the office
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize