gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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