how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
