i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Randomize