Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
