There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I believe in your delicious
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
