Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
