Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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