Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
