so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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