This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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