i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
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