This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
