I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
