I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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