whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
birth control should be required to get into college
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
