im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I looked at my own cervix.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
