Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
