He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
This is the high leading the old right now
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I AM VODKA MAN
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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