The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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