how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
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