You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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