I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
