i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
