Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i out mim tonsoeep
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