Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It's not a walk of shame if you run
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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