I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
