I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Are these your boobs on my camera?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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