When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize