Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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